Am I Dreaming?
by Hyiian
Summary: SPOILER! TAKES PLACE AFTER THE END OF DEATH NOTE! Light is dead. Three years have passed and Misa is still in a depressing state. Will she get over him? Read to find out. Not good at summaries. Gomenasai.


Ugh! That day is here again. I curled up in a ball on my bed trying to hold the tears from splashing down my face once again. It's been three years since the accident and people still wonder why I haven't gotten over it yet. This is my most hated day. The day he disappeared onto the other side. I remember it like it was yesterday.

* * *

"Light!" I yelled excitedly throwing my arms around him.

"Misa, I'm going to be gone for a while okay?" Light told me.

"Where?"

"Business."

"Kira business?"

"Yes, now can you be good for that long?"

"How long exactly?"

"Just a couple of hours. Don't panic if I'm late okay? Be careful and don't get hurt."

"Yes Light, just please, come home safe."

"I will don't worry." Light said kissing me and walking out the door into the night.

I've lived with Light for a few months now, and we have been closer than ever. We have truly fallen in love and are currently engaged. I was so happy. My life would soon be complete. I loved Light and him being Kira just made me love him more. Nothing could go wrong. Until that morning.

I got out of bed and walked downstairs only to find an empty room. Come to think of it, I didn't even wake up to see Light's face. I started to panic, but then remembered what Light told me. I calmed down and walked over to make coffee and sat down by the morning paper. The headline caught me by surprise and I nearly had a heart attack.

**KIRA CAPTURED!!!!!**

I dropped my coffee not caring about the stain and picked the paper up flipping to the page quickly.

**Reporters say from the great N that just a few months ago, the great L was killed and an imposter was filling in for him. N has also told us that the Great L imposter was no other than Kira! A young police chief named Matsuda has known to have shot the suspecting Kira at least four times, but he got away. **

**Reporters followed the blood mess to an abandoned building only to find a young man at the age of maybe twenty-one dead on the staircase. Some claim that he died from the shots, others say he was killed by the real Kira.**

**We did some more research and noticed how the deaths have gone down, and we have all been sure that this was defiantly Kira. Further information on the concept will be online with a picture of Kira. We warn you ahead of time that this picture is very disturbing and should not be viewed by children who scare easily.**

I threw myself off the couch and to the computer quickly telling myself 'It's not Light! It's not Light!'

Once I got to the web page I clicked the top headline labeled 'Kira Finally Down!' I scrolled down to the pictures and almost fell. There on the screen was a picture of Light Yagami. MY Light Yagami. MY Kira. The love of MY life dead on a staircase in the abandoned building. I let the tears fall down my face quietly and quickly. I kept saying in my head over and over again, 'No, no, no, no, no! Why him?' I quickly lifted my left hand and looked at the ring. He maybe gone, but he'll never leave my heart.

* * *

That's how the awful day started. I had to go to school though. Light would've wanted that. He always wanted me to succeed. It was our goal that we would both finish collage together. I wasn't going to break that goal now. I pulled myself together and pulled out my cute uniform. Light always would compliment it. Probably to make me blush or something. I smiled at the thought then looked at my watch to realize I was late. I quickly got dressed and put a piece of bread in the toaster while I went back upstairs to put my socks and shoes on. I ran downstairs almost forgetting the toaster. I shut it off and pulled my burnt toast out and stuffed a corner of it into my mouth then grabbed my bag, and ran out the door.

"Misa! You're late!" one of my friends called out to me.

"I'm so sorry Hikari!"

"It's okay, you okay? You look like you've been crying." Hikari said looking at my face.

"I'm okay!" I lied.

"I know what today is, so you can stop hiding the tears Misa." a voice said.

Great! Even Ryuu knew what was up.

"Sorry Ryuu, but I'm just so-"

"Don't worry about it." Ryuu said hugging me, "You can cry if you want. I just don't want you to hold your emotions back."

"Thanks Ryuu."

"No Problem"

"Here Misa, I brought your favorite Avon eyeliner!" Hikari said handing it to me before I burst into tears. "You might need it today."

"I'm sorry you two have to deal with this today."

"It's okay, my brother loved you very much Misa and your just upset about it."

"I hope people will leave her alone about it today." Ryuu said, "That really irritates me."

"I know, why can't they see that she's in total pain today?"

"Not helping Hikari."

"I'm sorry, but I just hate seeing her like this."

"Hikari, why aren't you sad?" I asked.

"Misa, believe me, I'm really sad about today, but I have to get through the day happy. Light would want that from the both of us right?"

"Yea, I'm sorry." I said wiping a tear away.

"Here," Hikari said handing me the eyeliner.

"Thanks." I said laughing.

"See, told you that you could be happy!"

"I'll try!"

"That's the spirit." Ryuu said, "Lets get to class."

"Yea. Race you there."

"No fair Misa! You had a head start!" Hikari shouted running after me with Ryuu close behind.

My friends, Ryuu and Hikari Yagami. Hikari is Light's younger sister and we have become the best of friends and I was happy the day I met her. Ryuu was L or Ryuuzaki's younger sister. She was so quiet the day I met her. We actually hated each other. Maybe because Light hated her brother so much. I thought she would be the type to never give in and break down, but that day when she found out her brother was killed, she showed up at my house with Hikari and she cried for over an hour. That was when we all began to comfort her, and we got closer and closer by the minute slowly becoming friends. All I know is that if Ryuu had never have met Hikari, I wouldn't know what to tell her. I was never good at giving out advice. The only friends I had were them. I was still doing modeling on the weekends and even some weekdays. I had no breaks. I had to be busy all the time. I couldn't spend my time grieving over Light all the time anyway right?

* * *

Class ended quickly and I swiftly ran home and closed the door. I didn't even make it all the way inside the house when I broke down crying. I slumped against the door and put my head into my knees. Shortly afterwards, I got a call from my manager wanting me to hurry downtown quickly for a summer shoot.

"I-I'll be there." I told her.

"Misa, are you okay?" Sazuki asked me.

"Yes, don't worry. Just give me twenty minutes." I said.

"Okay, I won't be here then, but I will have someone meet you there." Sazuki told me.

"Okay, hey get Koneko to bring over some Avon eyeliner. Black." I said.

"Okay Misa. Be careful okay? Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and sat there for a few more minutes before doing anything else. Koneko would be here soon. Koneko was someone who I've been with since I started modeling. I hated how people used her as a maid, it was like I was the only one who saw her as a person. We would always get along and I always seemed happy when she visited me.

Koneko was very different from the rest of us. You see, Koneko wasn't human, she was a Neko. That was why everyone treated her different. I thought it was wrong and I have yelled at a few people for doing that to her, but I see her like I see everyone else. A creature with a beating heart. I can tell Koneko anything, and that's why I asked for Sazuki to send her to my house instead of someone else who would automatically start questioning me. Plus I would always have cookies baking so when Koneko got here, she would start sniffing the air on a searching hunt for them. She always made me laugh that way.

I stood up and went into the kitchen to pull out the cookie dough. Koneko's favorite. Chocolate Chip. I put the cookies into the oven and let them bake. I walked upstairs to my room and opened my walk-in closet. Light said I would get lost one day with all my clothes in there. I smiled at my fading memory and looked for something cute to wear. Of course I would just be changing again when I got there, but I have to keep my image up when I went into public. If my fans or the paparazzi saw me break-down, my career would officially be over.

Ten minutes passed and I still didn't pick anything to wear when the doorbell rang. That was Koneko and I rushed downstairs to answer the door.

"Koneko!" I said hugging her and moving aside for her to come in.

"Misa! Oh wait! Is that? Do I smell? Cookies?" Koneko's eyes lit up when she smelled the scent fluttering around the room.

I laughed at her and shut the door behind her. Yea, I'll get them out and then I'll get something to wear." I told her.

"That's okay Misa! I'll get them!" Koneko offered.

"Koneko! Please don't burn yourself! I'll get them!" I offered again.

"Misaaaaaa!" Koneko whined.

"Fine Koneko! Just be careful okay?"

"I promise!" Koneko said running to the kitchen as I ran upstairs.

I didn't hear a scream or anything metal hit the floor so I guessed that Koneko got the cookies out okay. Well once I stopped worrying, she screamed, but it wasn't because it burned her hand or it fell. The cookies were still hot. Very hot.

"Sorry Koneko! Forgot to tell you they're still hot!" I yelled downstairs.

"It's…okay!" Koneko yelled.

I quickly grabbed a random outfit (tight jeans and a small pink top) and ran downstairs.

"Koneko, did you bring the eyeliner?" I asked.

"Yea here!" Koneko said throwing the black eyeliner at me. At least I caught it.

"You've gone through 2 tubes of eyeliner today Misa. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Koneko, I'm okay." I lied again.

"Misa, I know when something is wrong. You can tell me anything."

That did it. I actually broke down in front of Koneko. Something I have never done before. I had to grab the edge of the staircase to hold myself up.

"MISA!" Koneko yelled rushing to my side.

"I-I'm sorry K-K-Koneko!" I sobbed.

"Misa, what happened?"

"This is the exact day when he d-d-d-died."

"Say no more Misa, I understand. It's okay." Koneko comforted me, "Come on, here's the eyeliner and your outfit is so cute. Come on Misa, we have ten minutes."

"Okay, I-I'm sorry Koneko." I said taking the eyeliner.

"Misa, I'll cancel okay? I'll say something came up and that you couldn't make it." Koneko said eating another cookie.

"No Koneko! I'll come. I'm okay." I said putting on the eyeliner.

"Are you sure?" Koneko asked.

"Yes, I'm positive." I answered.

"Okay come on, I'll drive."

"Please don't crash."

"I won't Misa!"

"Misa-Misa!" a familiar voice called out.

"Oh so your subbing in for her manager today?" Koneko asked.

"Yea. I miss her so much!"

"Koneko, who's my sub for my mana-" I stopped as I walked through the hall only to find my sadness coming back to me.

"Hey Misa."

"Matsuda…" I answered.

"Misa, you look sorta sad."

"Gee Matsuda, I wonder why?!"

"Why?"

"Are you this stupid?!"

"Misa! He was Kira!"

"I loved him!"

"Misa! I'm sorry!"

"Matsuda, he was my life!"

"I didn't fully kill him."

"You were going to!" I could feel a tear sliding down my cheek as I glared at Matsuda.

"Misa, lets just get this shoot over with and then you and I can talk about this."

"Koneko!"

"Yes Misa?"

"I'm going home okay?"

"You want me to drive you there?"

"Koneko, your not a maid!"

"Misa! Please let me help."

"Okay, you can if you want."

"Thank you."

Koneko dropped me off a little late. I wanted to kill Matsuda so badly, but we destroyed all the Death Notes. I was the only one with memories, well me, Hikari, Ryuu, and Matsuda. I looked at the clock to see that it was only 10 p.m. I walked upstairs and to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would calm me down. I would be a lot happier tomorrow. I got into bed and pulled the blankets over myself. It was only 11 p.m. but I just wanted to escape this day and slip into my wondrous fantasies where I would see Light again in my dreams.

* * *

It was 11:59. Almost Midnight. This is completely difficult. I could never sleep for the first three weeks after I found out he was dead. So why is it so difficult now? Light… Are you haunting me? Please answer me somehow.

"How's this for an answer?" a very familiar voice asked.

"There's no way in hell!" I shouted turning around to see my fiancee before me. No this wasn't my fiancee, this was a ghost. Light's Spirit.

"Light!" I cried, tears now streaming out of my emerald green eyes.

"Misa, you know I had no intention of dying. Matsuda tried to kill me, then Ryuk killed me with a heart attack." Light explained. His ghostly form clearly seen through the background of my dark, depressing room.

"Light…Are you haunting me?"

"Of Course not Misa. Why would I ever haunt you? What have you done to hurt me? You've done nothing but love me and I am grateful for that much."

"Oh Light my love, believe me, one day, I will join you, that day will come so very soon. After all those times I have split my life, it will all be worth it. I love you my love, You are my shining star."

"How'd you know Misa? I am a shining star, but I'm the brightest one out there. I will always guide you to safety no matter what it may cause in the process."

"Light, if there is any chance you get to kill me or you see death coming my way, don't hesitate. Kill me so I will join with you up there okay? Okay?!" I yelled more tears flowing than ever before.

"I want to keep you safe Misa."

"I want to be with you! I want to be with you Light Yagami! I want to be Misa Yagami! Light! I love you!"

"I love you too Misa, but I must leave now. I will be watching over you. I promise."

"No! Light! Please don't leave!"

"I'm sorry Misa." Light said kissing me even though I couldn't feel it.

He disappeared within the darkness and I was left on the floor crying my heart out once again. "L-Light." I stated. I then remembered what he had said about the star. I quickly ran outside and looked up at the sky to see the brightest star out there in the darkened pitch black world. "Light, I love you. I love you…"

"_I love you too Misa, with all my heart, I love you as well."_


End file.
